How much longer until I get there?

How much longer until I get there is a question I used to ask myself a lot in 2013.

What I mean when I ask this question is, when am I going to be free from this current situation? I was always waiting to get somewhere, make a success of myself so I could finally be free or be seen as a success in the eyes of others.

I soon realised that the question I asked myself was not helping me do anything, it would just put a downer on what I was doing at the time and I would lose the passion that was there when I first started.

I am quite a happy guy who tries not to let things get to me too much, really laid back as people tell me and just generally plod along through life. But asking myself that question just made me feel unhappy.

What was I actually doing to get where ever it was I wanted to be?

Well nothing really, I would try little things here and there but I never really believed it would get me anywhere because these type of thoughts cropped in and I never really put my all into it due to the disbelief.​

So where am I trying to go?

So where am I trying to go?

If I look back through all the things I have ever wanted and successfully achieved. I can see how they soon lost their value or changed into a situation I didn’t want to be in.

My new toys turned into boring toys, my new clothes turned into unfashionable cloths or old clothes, my new bike turned into an old crappy bike, my new phone turned into a crummy old brick, my new car turned into an old banger, my brilliant new job turned into a dead end prison, same with the next new job and I am finally happy at my current job, but how long will that last if I continue thinking in this way?

It’s never the things I’ve got, or the situation I’m in  because it’s continued throughout my whole life so far, regardless of any achievement’s, situation or material objects I’ve had.

So my thoughts about the current situation is what gives birth to my unhappiness as well as the negative feeling of wanting freedom from the current situation. It’s my very own thoughts and nothing else that makes me unhappy and feel that way.

These thoughts then brought me to more negative thoughts which brought me to ask questions like the one titled in this chapter.

To get to the point, there is nowhere to get to! It’s all just noise in my head which makes me feel bad mentally and emotionally at the time they arrive. When they do arrive they also stay around for a long time, they hang around in the back of my head changing my perception on everything else that’s going on in my life.

When I look at it like this it seems so pathetic, why do I even allow thoughts to ruin my day, week, month or even year! But knowing this I can recognise or be aware of the thoughts when they arrive.

Why would any of this matter to me?

What’s wrong with having negative views on things? My thoughts make me who I am! Am I just thinking too much? Is this all insignificant to my life?

Well the thoughts must come for a reason and I will write more about that later but why is it so important to remove these types of thoughts from my life?

Well they could come up while I am in bed, while I am driving while I am working or any time of the day, but there is nothing I can do about it at the times they arise. So I am just making myself feel bad randomly throughout the day. The thoughts also send a negative emotion through my body which can’t be good. When I think negatively I feel it in my body too. It has been proven that stress and negative thoughts cause all types of problems for the body.

A body in dis-ease can leave you open to disease!

If you take a look at this page: Click Here

I can see how much of a bad impact it can have on me. From boldness to serious disease these thoughts and feelings can have a serious impact on my health. It’s not just the impact it has on the body it’s also the impact it has on the people around me, my family, friends and other people I come into contact with.

Carrying around this negative emotion and unhappiness determines how I interact with others, it’s the difference between a smile and a frown, a pleasant evening and an argument, being happy for others and envying others.  I even put down others by laying all my problems in life and negative views on them. Judge, criticize and condemn things I see and the actions people take in life.

It’s like a virus which rubs off onto others, gives them negative thoughts then they move onto the next person and the negativity could end up effecting thousands of people without me even realising. I can’t be the only person who does this so I can see how important it is to remove the negative thoughts and emotions from my life.

The thoughts must come for a reason?

I believe having these thoughts help me move forward, it can help improve myself and other things in the world.

I have narrowed the cause of the negative thoughts and emotions down to two reasons, the first one is ego. When I say ego I mean the part of me that wants to look fashionable, have the latest and best gadgets and always look good through the eyes of others.

The little me that only exists so I can be accepted socially as the person I want to be seen as. The first post in this series and my about me page where I described myself was my ego also, it’s just my thoughts creating a self to show to the readers the type of person it wanted to be seen as in this book. I am not made up of those things as those things and circumstances have changed throughout my life and I have always stayed the same.

Ego even includes making myself a victim of something like a sufferer of asthma, dyslexia and anything else physical or mental I can identify myself as a person with. So when I dislike my brilliant new job and the negative thoughts arrive it’s usually because I don’t want to be seen by others as a failure who earns x amount and amounts up to nothing.

Its ego saying I am better than this, I feel embarrassed being seen in my crappy old car because my ego gets damaged, I get seen as that guy in the crummy old purple corsa, who needs a haircut a shave, and wears old clothes. So my dead end job can’t get me my new car and the negative thoughts are given birth from my ego which is nothing but more thoughts! I am starting to see a pattern of pointless thinking having a major impact on my life, even as I am writing this.

The second reason the negative thoughts and emotions can arise is a more genuine reason. It’s more of some sort of force pushing me, it feels like a good force telling me to take action but the same negative thoughts crop up and the force dies down or disappears completely then I get lost in thought once again.

I believe this force to have some sort of higher purpose, it’s defiantly not a thought, but can create positive thoughts which could help my life a lot or turn into negative thoughts and unhappiness. So I am going to look at it as a pointer in life, a pointer which tells me I must take action to follow my life’s purpose.

Looking back again, it’s answering and taking action on the force or pointer which has moved me to the next stages in life. It has never been the negative thoughts or emotions that moved me onto my next job or achieving the next goal. The thoughts just prevented me from taking action, polluted the actions I did take and added misery to me and others around me. Maybe it was me not taking action when the force arose which led me to think I disliked the current situation. Something was telling me to go somewhere but I didn’t answer.

So why don’t I answer?

 

Why don’t I take action when this push comes?

I believe it’s my ego again, keeping me protected from losing more of myself. Afraid of being seen as a failure, being looked at differently by friends and family, the feeling and the fear of losing my image is all just my ego protecting itself. Just more useless thinking saying things like “There is no jobs out there”, “I’ll never get a better paid job than this”, I can’t afford to buy a new car”, “what will everyone think if I quit my job”, “what if the business doesn’t work”. Just thought after thought keeping me from taking action, holding me down and forcing me into a false sense of security. But every time I have took action I have ended up in a much better situation. (Until those thoughts crop back up)

 

So what can I do about it?

Well being able to recognise and being aware of the thoughts when they do come I have the power to choose. To choose not to think about them and be aware that it’s all actually OK on the outside world. My current situation and my emotional state is absolutely fine, as long as I don’t let these thoughts which have no purpose  but to cause me misery and dictate my happiness take me over.

I then choose to realise that what I have got and the situation I am in is great!  my boring old toys are appreciated for being there as well as the joy they brought at the time, my clothes kept me warm and protected,  my bike was a privilege to have in the first place and performed just as well regardless of its wear and tear, my phone was and is a massive privilege and done everything I needed it to practically do, my car was and still is a massive privilege and got me from A to B, my brilliant new job gave me hundreds of opportunities and still does, same with all my jobs.

Gratitude is very powerful and can bring out natural genuine feelings of happiness and joy. How good do you think that is for your body?

So at the moment I am aware of the negative thought, I bring to my attention that the current situation is fine, realise all the good things about it, what it’s doing for me, and how privileged I am. Then I identify if the thoughts are spurred from my ego or from not going in the direction life is pushing me, missing the pointers.

Once I do this I have the power to make a decision on what action to take next, without all the negativity and desperation to be free, clouding my judgement and polluting my actions. I will, and have been able to see better ways to do things, better opportunities and ideas to take action on. The ideas or actions also come with a knowing that it’s the right step to take without a doubt. How much better will the quality of my life be if all my actions and thoughts came from being in that state of genuine gratitude and happiness?

Is there more things in my life I can improve with this awareness of my thoughts

I asked myself this and seen so many more opportunities to improve the quality of my life. I looked into what I had already written and broke it down into other situations I consider to be negative.

I’ll use my car for an example but this applies to anything that comes with negative thoughts and emotions. The engine breaks and I need to buy a new one, I suddenly get a rush of negative thoughts about all the things I am going to have to do, I can’t afford a new car, how am I going to get to work, how am I going to get the shopping,  just so many thoughts making me feel bad, causing me stress and worry.

I first thought well they are helpful because I need to think about these things and get it sorted. But if I change the way I look at it, I can see these thoughts are completely pointless, they come with negative emotions and that wanting of not being in this situation. They just hang around until I am out of the situation and can causes me and anyone else I come in contact with unhappiness.

So to solve this problem, I identity the thoughts the same way I mentioned earlier, realise that these thoughts are serving no purpose and won’t help me in anyway, I stop resisting what has happened to me, stop making myself a victim of the current situation and accept it as it is. It’s happened but it’s not a bad thing, it’s just simply something that has happened which I have to take action on and make a few changes to my current life situation. There is no negativity at all if I don’t make it a problem and just do what needs to be done. Then the actions I do take will be clear and won’t be polluted, every step will have that quality to it. I will call my boss and simply explain the situation and maybe ask if there is anything they could help me with or anything they would like me to do. Before making the call I remove all thoughts of, what are they going to say, will they give me the time I need, and all those pointless worries that just seem to go on in my head without me even realizing, as if something else is in control of me or out of control even.

If I need to call any companies and get put on hold for 30 minutes I catch the negative thoughts and realise there is nothing I can do about it, it is what it is. If I do have a choice I can complain and moan to the people present in the room with me, potentially spreading negativity to them, complain and moan to the person who finally gets on the other side of the telephone potentially getting them angry and making my whole days experience a bad and negative one. Or I can accept every situation I cannot change and take only the actions that need to be taken to get it resolved.

I can’t make them all problems for myself or I’m going to have a lot of misery in life. Some examples of when I can be more aware of these thoughts are, driving behind someone who does 10 mph below the speed limit, having to stop at traffic lights, the thoughts of wanting to be at my destination when travelling causes me all sorts of negativity while driving. I can remove all this from my life and live more fully without doubts, fear or anxiety.

Adding up my problems and turn them into one big problem

I noticed I add up problems and turn them into one big problem so that whole day where my engine broke I had loads of little problems added up, the following week where I had to change my circumstance was added to my problems. Then some other challenges will appear to me as they do in life which turns into all the problems that happened to me this month, then finally at the end of the year I say good bye 2013 adding up all my problems but feeling happy because I am letting them go and saying hello to a new happy an prosperous year.

If something happened to me yesterday and I add it to a problem I face today I am bringing something that has already been and gone and making it a problem right now, today, multiplying the negativity then creating new negative thoughts to make me unhappy. Thoughts like, “why does this always happen to me” and creating negative feelings of being fed up of a repetitive process. But I have created this repetitive process, it’s just things that happen and without me making something out of it, it’s nothing! This is the same for every situation in my life where I experience negative thoughts and emotions.

How will just accepting things help?

So if I am always going around accepting everything in this way, how will I be able to prevent these situations appearing again, nothing will get done? No improvements will be made.

Doing something now to prevent this situation from occurring again is perfectly fine as long as I do it without the negativity again, it will be more powerfully and joyful to do. When I have been waiting on the phone for 30 minutes or feel some need to make a complaint to either improve the service, inform the company of the bad service  or take some kind of action which can be perceived as negative I can simply do so without making it a personal issue. It’s a genuine thought expressed to the company in a helpful way knowing that the person on the other end of the phone is not the company but a person like me. A person who if I upset may also have a bad day, spread negativity to others in their life but has the power and ability to upset my day due to a previous nuisance customer or some problem in their life, and the virus starts to spread. I can then still express my feelings towards certain occurrences in my life but I do it in a way which has no personal attachment to me. So I can make improvements and stop some challenges reoccurring I just have to do it without making it personal, my problem or something I am a victim of.

What about who I am as a person?

Will doing this suppress me in any way, I need to have some kind of personality, likes and dislikes it makes me who I am.

It can’t be what makes me who I am, Yes I can still do things I enjoy but that doesn’t mean I have to attach things I don’t particularly feel like taking part in to myself as things I don’t like, it’s just the mind looking at things, labelling them and adding it to myself as something I do or don’t like. Doing that doesn’t make me a person or make up my personality. So my likes and dislikes are not who I am, I am here regardless of what likes and dislikes I have the specific details do not matter. I am!

It’s the same with everything in the universe, I am or we are, before any label or circumstance in my /our lives. The universe is made up of the exact same thing, which is an energy force, and this is what imitates life, the trees, the moon, our bodies, everything! And that energy force without a mind has the intelligence to create the whole universe around us as we see it to be. It’s what creates the beauty in our world, it’s the intelligence that creates the beautiful flower, the hundreds of different butterflies, the trees, water, animals, sea creatures, rocks, land and all other beautiful things I seem to ignore or only appreciate for a split second before my thoughts creep in, label it as beautiful and moves on to whatever it decides to think next!.

When I look at a tree I totally miss it’s existence, I turn it into a tree, which is brown and has leaves. There is so much more to a tree than that, it’s very being is magical. The intelligence behind the tree which is it’s existence is what we see, it’s these beautiful things we all know are beautiful but still just label them and class them as insignificant to our all important lives.

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to leave your comments about what I have said here!